Warm Cheesy Kish: Iran Lite

Iran Light: Smoke 'em if you got 'em

Iran Light: Smoke ’em if you got ’em

December 2009

So when I’m going through security check in Dubai, bound for Kish Island, Iran, they call me over for further scrutiny.

“You have Caesar’s…” the nice lady says.

I have Caesar’s what…face…bearing…sex appeal? “Excuse me?”

“You have Caesar’s…” she repeats. The security lady starts making a cutting motion with her fingers.

Hey, now, don’t start cutting anything. We just met, and I haven’t said anything the slightest bit inappropriate. You want to have a baby by Caesarian section, is that it? Ohhh…  “Scissors? Yes, I have scissors, but they’re blunt ones, not sharp.”

“Let me see.”

So I show them to her and she takes them over to her supe. He shakes his head, “Not allowed.”

“But I pass security with these all the time; they’ve been approved,” I whine, but to no avail. They confiscate my Caesars… scissors.

Greetings from Filipinos in Iran waiting to go back to Dubai

Greetings from Filipinos in Iran waiting to go back to Dubai

Kish is a small island off the coast of Iran that for some reason or other has different rules than the rest of the country: no visa required, Americans allowed without a guide….

…Shah’s grandiose plans for an elaborate tourist development on Kish now degenerated into a barracks for visa-runners from Dubai, mostly Filipinos… share accommodations for $10 a night, then head back to Dubai once their visas have cleared… seventy-five days one, another forty-seven… I’m the new guy, and the rare tourist who’s not Iranian… UAE dirhams currency here, and plenty of Philippine food…

…welcoming smiles emanating from Filipino girls from underneath their prohibition veils… Women have their own beach… men wear long pants there, too… no more drapey Arab garb for males here, just the prohibitions… Morality demands freedom to choose, does it not?

…Iran Immigration gives me full scrutiny, fingerprints and all, most serious since Cuba… I wonder why… What, do I look like a spy?

Shopping malls ubiquitous… restaurants not cheap, though, cup of espresso more than a meal… a vacuum waiting to be filled… meaningless commerce. I don’t shop…

…Iranian personality somber… pessimistic… death-oriented: Zoroastrian corpses left to the post-mortem picking by buzzards. There IS something peaceful about the Iranian character, though, likewise rigor mortis…

…I’ll return to Dubai tomorrow, Sana’a the next day, hopefully Cairo the day after. I should meet up with friends there for a day or two, and then be with my wife in less than a week… sounds good…