Caffeine is the Drug; Thai Style? Meh…

Remember Red Bull? Man, that sh*t sucked, didn’t it? I mean, where did they find that flavor, in somebody’s medicine cabinet? And pricey, too, overseas, at least… Back home no more than a quarter US a bottle, small bottle…


Thankfully, once the can-of-caffeine club hit the good ol’ US, cooler heads would prevail, much cooler heads, and that medicinal flavor would soon give way to a plethora of pleasant tastes to be found in anything that flows downhill—into your mouth, that is—ranging from the frutti to the tutti, fruits and all, and all kinds of fruits… 

Hey, they even had caffeinated cranberry juice at one point! Danger, Will Robinson, danger! They pulled that one from the shelves, fortunately; I’m better now…  It’s hard to believe that non-caffeinated soft drinks were once all the rage.  Those were the Dark Ages for all us C-heads.

But this is just the beginning.  Now there are countless variations running the gamut of fruits to fantasies, not to mention US name-brand leaders Rockstar, Monster, Amp, and Burn, a far cry from the M-150, Lipo-Vitan, and White Shark from the Thailand menu and milieu from which Red Bull originates. Carabao is good, but not the drink, though—the killer Thai rock band, something like Thailand’s Rolling Beatles Grateful Dylan Bowie Costello Springsteen for you…

The price is coming down, too. One US penny per milligram of caffeine should be about right. Where’s my ‘barista’? ‘Energy’ drinks? Yeah, right. The mullahs and imams settled that issue long ago.  It keeps you awake during prayers, uh huh…  WTF is taurine, BTW? That’s what I want to know…

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